Lavish

“I try to memorize the lines that I’ve written but I can hardly read them anymore. The teardrops begin to fall on the crumpled piece of paper clenched in my fist. I can hear my heart beating, louder than anything else around me. Fear has taken hold of me. My vision gradually reduces; I cannot tell if the tears are out of fear or out of sorrow; but that doesn’t really matter. All that matters now is what I’ve done and what I must say. I try to memorize the lines that I’ve written…

I see him in the distance. He turns to me. My heart skips a beat. The piece of paper falls to the ground. I’ve run out of time. I can only hope to remember the words that I need to say now. That is all that matters. He starts running towards me…

I can almost see the anger burn within him. I can almost see him take out his sword and separate my head from my body. He won’t even wait till I reach him. He will come to me just to finish me off right where I stand. My body starts to tremble. I must say the right words; it’s all that matters. I try to remember them but they refuse to leave my mouth…

I see him run closer. My mind takes me back to the time I insulted him; to the time I mocked him and dragged his family name in the mud. I can almost see it in his eyes now – revenge.

He is here now. My body freezes right where I stand. I cannot even see his face clearly anymore. Everything’s a blur now. It’s too late. I close my eyes and wait for him to kill me. I wait for the blade to slice through me…

…but it doesn’t. He throws his arms around me. Gently, he kisses me. Am I dead already? Is this real or is it all just my imagination? No, this can’t be true! After all I’ve done, I deserve to be punished; I deserve death. I can feel the tears roll down his cheeks, over my shoulders. I stand still….

….And it finally gets to me. It was never about what I had done, or what I had to say. It was about him, about who he was, about who he is.

I get it now. It isn’t about the words I have to say; but I say them anyway….

“Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you…”